Ok, Ok, I know its technically Friday but the AWESOME 3 day weekend I had has thrown me off and made me forget what day of the week it actually is 😉 So we will call this one Fantastic Thought Friday!!
Recently, as I expressed frustration about an upcoming event, a good friend told me to relax, everything isn’t always ideal. Agreed. But knowing life is full of unknowns we can’t control, I have always felt what we can control needs to be in as much order as possible. But was holding onto justice and what I felt was right (about a social event, not a person’s life) worth the negative energy I was creating in my own life? After some reflection, I had to admit my friend was right; I need to relax or more importantly let go of the things I can’t control.
I didn’t need the kind of relaxation that comes from a bubble bath or quiet moments. I need to be a little easier going in life’s not so critical events. So I am giving myself three ways to create a relaxed environment in my life and start giving up control.
1. Remember, sometimes good enough is best.
2. How people feel around me is more important than an end result.
3. Have fun. Laugh when possible. Smile often.
I hope these will help me more readily accept outcomes when I don’t agree with a situations that is not life altering. More importantly I want to create better moments and memories with my friends and family.
How do you need to relax?
Welcome readers, I’m Lisa Wharton and I’m excited to introduce Bossy Bars! Bossy Bars is an essential oil soap company that is in the beginning phases of development. My main goals are to introduce people the benefits of essential oils in a new way and to honor the memory of my mom. My mom was a massage therapist and used essential oils on us all the time, she loved them and the benefits that they offered her family and so did we.
A few years ago my mom passed away suddenly from cancer. We had 6 weeks from the diagnosis to her passing. It was shocking and devastating, she was my best friend. During that time friends helped a lot, she had a friend that sent a box of lavender scented soaps and lotions, her face lit up when she received them and they helped greatly with her nausea. I will always be grateful to that friend. Shortly after she passed I was re-introduced to the oils by a friend and instantly remembered the love I had for them and felt a great connection to my mom. I started using them right away for everything from ear infections, getting the kids to sleep, anxiety and tooth aches.
Recently we moved from California to Idaho. I left my hometown and started on a new adventure with my family. One day I feeling lonely in my new state and was looking for something to distract me so I grabbed a book from my hobby pile, it was a soap making book that my mom had given me a few years ago. I had held onto it knowing that someday I would have time and space to do this. I was finally at that someday. I was excited to start a new adventure in soap making. Excited to do something new for myself that would benefit my family and others as well. Who knew I’d have to move to Idaho to get this started!
As I researched what kind of soap I wanted to make I was hit with almost instant inspiration to combine the benefits of essential oils with a great bar of homemade soap. I thought of my mom again and how much that box of soaps meant to her. Because of this I want to reach out to those that are going through cancer and start a program where you can donate a bar to a cancer patient. I will also be donating a bar for every 20 that I sell. I am excited to give back in memory of my mom, to help people help themselves, and to make this a success
RELAX ALREADY (between the sheets) Lavender and ylang ylang for a bar that not only calms you from your day but drives up your libido too! It is the perfect bedtime bar
ZAP ZITS Lemongrass and Melaluca to help control that acne
YOU STINK Cedarwood and Melaluca will join forces to fight that strong body odor, great for men, my husband inspired this one 😉
WAKE UP Eucalyptus and Peppermint for the perfect morning shower that will get your day started
Visit my oils page to learn more about the benefits of essential oils http://www.mydoterra.com/lisawharton/
Like Bossy Bars on FB to keep up with our progress and be a part of the creation process https://www.facebook.com/bossybars
For me, the beginning of this book was in Target. The book didn’t start there, I did! Initially, this was not the book I picked to review for May. Halfway through the previous pick, I was unsure if it was what I wanted to share with my readers. So without research or recommendations, while shopping for Mother’s Day cards, I chose The Happiness Project. Not over thinking what needed to be done and just getting it done was a great start and reflection of what I would take away from reading The Happiness Project.
In The Happiness Project, writer Gretchen Ruben decided to increase her happiness through a year of resolutions focused on becoming happier. Each chapter is an area she personal wanted to work with, however they are not meant to be suggestions for the reader. Instead, it encourages the reader to evaluate their own happiness and what areas they would improve. Then, if you want to do your own Happiness Project she offers the chart she used to outline as an example to create your own. There is much that can be learned and applied with The Happiness Project, even if you don’t want to do your own. Here are the 2 key ideas I appreciated.
1. Lighten up: “I wanted to become more lighthearted, especially in moments of anger. A line by G.K. Chesterton echoed in my head: “It is easy to be heavy; hard to be light.” Throughout this book, I felt like I was seeing a reflection of my own life. Gretchen’s realization that she needed to add more humor to life, be slow to anger and decrease criticism were refreshing. Now I catch myself thinking before I criticize my children or husband on a task they have preformed, trying to find the humor in a messy situation and cutting my tongue from increasingly having to bite it. This takes more work, but less of my energy. The added benefit is I am not sucking the positive energy from others! Yes, lightening up has the ability to increase happiness.
2. Being Amanda: “I have an idea of who I wish I were, and that obscures my understanding of who I actually am. Sometimes I pretend even to myself to enjoy activities I don’t really enjoy. And worse, I ignore my true desires and interests.” Through the year Gretchen had to accept “being Gretchen” and even more difficult was honestly identifying who that is. Being true to who we are is a great way to let go of guilt! So now, without guilt, these are some things I will no longer try to like: Jazz music, playing with Barbie’s, drawing, eating raw carrots or relaxing on a hot beach.
The Happiness Project explores if we really can be happier. This is not a solution for someone challenged with clinical depression or hormone imbalances. It is for those who are in the rut and ready to look inward to increase their individual happiness.
Congratulations Diane Sleight!!
Diane and her daughter will both enjoy some Bossy Bars. We want to wish all of the women out there a happy Mothers Day, mom, aunt, friend, grandma, teacher, coach, it doesn’t matter, you all help to shape who our children will be. Thank you for all that you do!
Here is what her daughter, Dani, had to say about her mom:
“I don’t think we should ever stop thanking the people in our lives. The woman I would like to nominate of course is my wonderful mom Diane Sleight. She works harder than anyone I know. Raised 7 kids while working full time and is still hard at work even while battling a very rare illness. I look up to her for countless reasons and her growing up the way she did and how hard of a childhood she has had, she grew up to be an amazing mom and grandmother.” Dani Barker
You can visit Bossy Bars on fb https://www.facebook.com/bossybars
A giveaway just in time for Mothers Day! Bossy Bars is a new soap company that makes hand milled soaps with beneficial essential oils. Nominate a mom, or any woman, and you will both receive some wonderful soaps to pamper and treat yourself. To learn more about the oils that she uses visit her website, http://www.mydoterra.com/lisawharton/ , she will also be our guest blogger next month so come back to see more of what her products offer!
To enter simple comment below, if you commented on our post last week you are already entered, also like our fb page, share and comment there to gain extra entries, good luck ladies!
“Happiness is not a goal…it’s a by-product of a life well lived.”-Eleanor Roosevelt
I am a list maker. I can’t ever remember not being a list maker. Early in my marriage my husband expressed concern for my commitment to follow through with each list. Feeling they were party of my ability to be productive and effective, I ignored his chides. In time, I began to understand.
So often my level of joy in a day came from the number of items crossed of my list. Rarely would I acknowledge the value or time of a list item, they were all equal. And parts of my life that never made it to my list, like spending time with loved ones, helping someone when it wasn’t planned or quiet time, would become an annoyance! I needed to learn to appreciation for more than what was on my list.
We can run into similar behavior when striving to obtain a goal or create a new habit. How long does it take to create a habit? If we make a mistake, do you have to start from day on again? If you answered 21 or 28 days and yes, that is incorrect. Though commonly accepted as scientific truth, this idea is no more than an idea that has been promoted in multiple ways. In research from UCL, participants in multiple studies created new habits in as little as 18 days, while some took 254 days with the average being 66 days. Is this joyful or depressing? Is your reaction “I will never be able to create a new habit. I can’t go 66 days without making a mistake!” Good news, you don’t have to. The study further found that if you aren’t prefect in your endeavor but keep moving forward, you will succeed.
Like not taking in to account the value or time of the items on my list, if we treat all changes equal it can be discouraging when they are not. Do we expect to create the habit of daily meditation for 15 minutes to take the same amount of time as creating the habit of drinking an extra glass of water each day? If so, we could be setting ourselves up for disappointment. “The duration of a habit formation is likely to differ depending on who you are and what you are trying to do. As long as you continue doing your new healthy behavior consistently in a given situation, a habit will form.”1
By shifting our mindset to appreciate the value of the small wins we give ourselves permission to enjoy the process. This shift helps us to keep trying when we make a mistake and to be happy through the process of change.
Do I still make lists? Yes!!! I love them. However, what is on them has changed, how I organize them has improved but most importantly, the do not determine the satisfaction and joy I get in a day. My ability to start appreciating small daily wins while accepting there is more to me than what is on the list has allowed me to give myself permission to be happy. Even on the days when nothing on the list got done.